Suddenly I remembered my eldest sister. The last message I sent to her was a news related with my future plan. And she replied “it’s okay, so learn again”.
She has a tough personality, independent, a hard worker and she’s a kind of person who will stand on the front line to protect her family from bad things other people do. If I have to use one word to describe her, I’ll choose “fierce” . But behind her tough characteristic, she has a soft heart. Most of the times, she gives her best effort to people who ask for help.
On the previous New Year’s holiday, I spent my time there, at her home in Jogjakarta. We talked much at night, because she has to work until afternoon. As always, I am as person with expressive and stubborn characters, revealed some of my thought in front of her. And we took time until nearly down to find an agreement. I felt like long time didn’t talk to her in person. That was perfectly nice.
When the day came for me to go back to Jakarta, she accompanied me to airport. On the last time, I kissed her and she looked bit awkward and said “you’ll come again, right?”. I just smiled and pushed my trolley away from her because I had to check in.
Two days after I came back to Jakarta, she made a call. She said with half laughed and cried that she cries when open the door of the room that I used when I stayed at her home, because she thought that I was there ^^.
Nice thing also happened when she forgot my birthday. Soon after she realized that she made a biiiiiiig mistake *hyperbolic hihihi*, she talked to me and said “unyil, honey, my lovely youngest sister, please forgive me blahblah..” . She’s nice indeed.
We can’t ask people to express their feeling in the same way with ours. Some people will choose to hide their real feeling deep inside and show the opposite with many reasons; shy, not get used to it, awkward or just for keeping his/her pride high or something else. But on this case I walk on my theory, I’ll let the people that I love know what my real feeling is. Because I don’t want to take the risk to regret in the rest of my life when I have to lose my time to tell them what the truth is. No matter what. I’ll choose to feel ashamed than regret. And I realized that they’re not mind reader who can find things unspoken correctly.
So, which way will you choose? ^^
Huge hugs and lotta loves from here, sis..